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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Post-Apocalyptic Plague

I just woke up from a very interesting dream.

I say interesting because, taken at face value, the dream was a nightmare. I had to force myself to wake up, get up off the bed to stretch my limbs and get the sleep paralysis off, and bully my mind to start thinking of butterflies, green fields, and cute bunnies.

Nevertheless, the dream also had a so-so, pretty straightforward message to impart. Why the hell it was in my dream and not the plot of a B-Movie beats me, but I guess I did enjoy that nightmare a bit. I definitely don't want to see and experience it again though.

So here's how it was:

Imagine present day Manila in a post-apocalyptic setting. Overpopulated. Polluted.

In one of the suburban areas, the pollution problem was so bad, people started getting sick. The disease was highly contagious and anyone who got afflicted developed lesions on the skin. The virus would then spread to their brains, altering their cognitive processes and turning them into zombie-like but still mindful and willful beings.

The situation was initially contained within hospital wards and such but naturally things degenerated real fast when the doctors got sick themselves. Next thing you know, the plagued mobs started to converge in the streets, madly trying their utmost to spread the disease to everyone else who are not afflicted yet. Sadly, the plague got me too and I became one of the crazed mob as well.


Of course, there was a resilient few who managed to evade the disease and discovered an antidote to combat it: Salt. By sprinkling salt to the plagued mobs or otherwise bathing them in salinated water, the formerly crazed, including myself, were able to regain their sanity and the lesions on their skin started to fade.

Soon, the cleansed people started a movement to clean the city streets and get rid of all the garbage that probably caused the plague in the first place. It was actually good, seeing everyone doing their part, sometimes singing together to keep everyone's spirits up.

They eventually reached that suburban area where the pollution was at its worst, the last area that needs to be cleaned up and where the remaining crazed ones were in hiding. The process was really taking a while given how badly contaminated the place was.

But just like in a B-Movie, there was the twist: The crazed ones had apparently perfected a bomb which when released will spread the plague to every part of the city. And as the clean-up guys were just about starting to make real progress in that city area, that was when the multiple plague bombs were launched and the whole city along with its populace became plagued once more.

Photo from forum.juhlin.com

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Made Me Giggle

I saw this internet forum sig earlier and it kinda made up for the many bad things I saw and heard today.

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(>^.^)> ohai
(>^.^)># i made you this waffle
(>~.~)># but then i got hungry
(>^#^<) so i eated it

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I think I want to eat some waffles. nomnomnomnom...

Enraged while Watching TV

Recently, there were two things I heard and saw while watching TV that made me rage:

1. A month or so ago, this entertainment couple (whose names I'd rather not say for the sake of keeping reality and the universe intact) had a very public spat regarding the guy's alleged other woman. The fact that this pointless issue made the news would have been rage-worthy enough, right? I was wrong.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I had the misfortune of seeing separate interviews of the two of them. Apparently they've reconciled and things are looking as rosy as ever. Alright. Whatever.

Then I heard their patch-up catchphrase: "Love! Love! Love!"

Seriously? Really?!

Yep, say that in the most annoying sing-song way possible and you would understand my rage. Even the Dalai Lama would cringe hearing how they say those words. It's making me want to gouge babies' eyes out.

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2. After hearing the most annoying political ads on TV, you would've thought it would be enough to make you not care anymore, right?

Wrong.

A senator who's running for re-election for the Senate again (despite totally failing in fulfilling his last campaign promise of lowering electricity rates), now had the gall use as his campaign slogan: "Gusto ko happy ka!" (I want you to be happy.)

Yeah, right.

Your political history from the martial law years up to the present doesn't really make me happy at all, man. Your slogan actually sounds more like a threat: I demand that you be happy... or else!

Just retire, old man! I'll give you credit on being able to spin things to your favor though. With a catchy slogan like that and an electorate as dumb as a doorknob, I won't be surprised if you get reelected again.

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Dear Lord!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Tale of a Girl with Something Stuck in between her Two Front Teeth

So let me tell you a story about a girl. And so that she can remain anonymous and also because I couldn't remember her real name either, we'll just call her Little Red Riding Hood.

Little Red Riding Hood was your average college girl. She used to go to an exclusive all girls' school, had a circle of girl friends, and loved to hang out in the mall when classes got dismissed early. She's not what you would call pretty but she nevertheless loves to think that she is so. And like any girl her age, if you tell her that she's pretty, she would consider you her best friend (if you're a girl) or fall in love with you (if you're a guy and she thinks you're cute). Of course, if you're not her type of guy, then she would stay the hell away from you no matter how good your compliments are. She would still believe your compliments though.

So one afternoon, classes ended early and Little Red Riding Hood and her friends went to the mall to have lunch. There really wasn't anything much to do so they just decided to do whatever comes to mind.

After lunch, they decided to spend a few hours in a coffee shop, chatting, laughing, talking about the usual girl stuff. It was while they were laughing about something that her girlfriends noticed something wrong: Little Red Riding Hood had something dark and obvious stuck in between her two front teeth.

The situation was of course very awkward and her friends really had no idea whether to tell her or just ignore it. They just decided to ignore it. But as you can imagine, it was really very distracting when you can see something as obvious as that (it was supposedly half a centimeter in diameter) while at the same time trying to laugh and pretend that you're not really seeing anything.

So the boring afternoon hours passed and the girls later went to a nearby park to get some fresh air. They played, talked, and laughed with some kids and flirted with some boys they saw. And all the while, Little Red Riding Hood was the loudest of them all, chatting with the kids face to face (the kids were probably terrified of what they were seeing and were very uncomfortable about it) and smiling her best smile to some of the boys. Her friends, meanwhile, can only manage to exchange meaningful glances behind her back.

Later that evening, the group decided to head out to a friend's house to freshen up before heading home and also to have a little more chitchat. Little Red Riding Hood excused herself to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later, they heard her shrieking and running to them, shouting:

"Oh my God, you shameless bitches! (laughs) Why didn't you tell me there was something stuck in between my teeth!"

Friends: "Huh? What? We don't know what you're talking about..."

Yada, yada, yada...

Later that night, her friends called each other up to ask the question that's been burning in their mind the whole afternoon:

"Hey, did you notic--?"

"Yes!!!! Hahahaha!"

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To this day, none of her friends admitted to having noticed anything.

To this day, Little Red Riding Hood suspects her friends of lying to her about it.