People You Want to Subject to Extreme Public Humiliation

I've come to be more accepting of other people and whatever weird things they have going on. You're a nail-biter, a pony-tail twirler, a pencil eraser eater, conversation-interrupter, the clingy-I-can't-live-without-you type - yeah, I can deal with those things no biggie. So long as you have a nice personality and like to go on road trips, we'll be okay. And as long as you don't ask me for gambling money, we can be friends forever and ever.

But sometimes there are just those people whose behavior are just too nerve-wracking, whose personalities just rub you the wrong way, you just want to tear at your hair, gnash your teeth, punch a penguin in the face, yell at an innocent kid, and think of the most horrible ways to subject said people in the most extreme public humiliation possible.

I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. And I'm also sure that with some of these you'll agree.

Loud, obnoxious people
You enter a room full of strangers - in a party, a meeting, public transportation, a movie house. You just want to get whatever business you have done. But at the back of your head, you just know that someone in here will just start talking nonsense in the most annoying loud voice possible. In a party, that's the person who compensates for not having anyone to dance with by talking loudly. In a meeting, the scrub who has no idea what he's talking about. In a public transportation, the two people who talks about the latest gossip like it's everybody's business. In a movie house, the group of loud teenagers who just have to make sure that they talk loudly or else people would think they don't exist. Also add to this list your neighborhood videoke champion.

Insufferable know-it-alls
People who just have to tell everyone what to do even if it's not their business. If I need something done, don't you think I would have probably asked you by now? You want something done a certain way, then why the hell didn't you do it yourself in the place? If I don't know how to read, I would ask you to read the instructions for me. In case you don't know yet, the world is full of smart people. Don't strut around like you're the only one who knows about everything.

Self-centered narcissists
And then there are the narcissists. The people who can't stop talking about themselves and their life stories. If people seriously give a damn, don't you think would be famous by now? Stop deluding youself into thinking that anyone gives a damn for shizz sake. We do have our own worries and problems too, you know. We don't care about you and your recently-manicured nails. Don't be such a drama queen if people seem to be paying attention to something or someone else. The world wasn't created for you. Yeah, okay we hear you have some new stuff. Great! Guess what, mine are better but would you even notice? There are so many interesting people in this world. But the list doesn't include you, however.

Man, there are soooo many things I wanna do to humiliate these people in public. I've just had enough with taking Prozac, teeth-gnashing, and if I pull one more strand of my hair, I'll look like Howie Mandel. But for the sake of world peace and preventing World War III from erupting, I'll just keep them to myself...

...Well not really. But I'll post about those things some other time. Peace.

/endrant

Photo from boards.ign.com

From The Animal Blog

Some random pics from The Animal Blog that made my day.








I could only hope they won't disappear from this world forever.

Photos from theanimalblog.tumblr.com

Roads of Death

Travelling is such a nice thing.

But sometimes, the roads can be challenging enough, you would just want to turn around and head back home.

Check out some of the world's most complex roads at waze.com.

If as a passenger I would rather close my eyes while travelling through these, then there is no chance in hell that I would even attempt to drive through. Just looking at them gives me vertigo.

One of the Philippines' roads made it in the list too so check it out. d^^

Photo from waze.com

The Law of Equivalent Exchange

Alchemy's most basic law states that: in order to gain something, something of equal value must be lost.



The world's outpouring of support for Haiti can only be described as phenomenal. From the suburbs of Middle America to the busy streets of Manila, everyone just seem to be wanting to take part and provide whatever support they can, whether it be moral or financial. And to think that for the world to come to a common understanding despite differences in faiths, political views, and skin color; it has to happen in Haiti, a country which was born out of misunderstanding and racism, being founded by black slaves no less.

Pondering about this, it made me wonder how mankind has to go through so much pain and tragedy just to be able to come to a common understanding and achieve things that has been deemed impossible to achieve in this cynical and pessimistic world. Which then brings me back to the concept of alchemy's basic law. Does it really mean that in order for humanity to achieve peace and tolerance, the price has to come in the form of so much lives lost?

Perhaps it is humanity's 'curse' that as we progress in our many mundane pursuits, the ideals of goodness and spirituality slowly get submerged in cynicism and doubts. But in order for our inherent good qualities to resurface, an upheaval of cataclysmic proportions needs to occur. Even though the price involves the loss of so many lives, in exchange the world comes to a better understanding of the meaning of being good and unselfish.

And it isn't just the Haiti tragedy. Such outpouring of positivity are recorded in history as a direct result of negatives: last year's typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng in the Philippines; The Asian tsunami a few years back; The two world wars of the last century. World peace and tolerance - these things indeed come at such heavy prices. But even so, the resurfacing of what's good in humanity and being actually able to restore one's faith in humanity - all these lessons the universe has to put us through in the end teaches us one simple truth: that no matter how self-centered and selfish man becomes in the pursuit of his own happiness, there will always be within him that spark of kindness that he can not and will never escape.

And yet there is still within me this gnawing thought: given that the world still has so much problems like global warming, the ongoing political tensions in Korea and China, terrorism, AIDS, the trafficking of women and children, racism - would it really take another cataclysm just in order for us to get over ourselves, open our eyes, and see what's wrong?

Photo from 7deadlysinsclan.tripod.com

Cooking for Dummies

I love convincing people to learn how to cook. It may take some practice, sure, to be really good at it. But once you get the hang of it, it can make the difference between having a succulent roasted chicken for dinner or eating cold canned corned beef instead.

So who would've thought that while trolling the gaming forums, I would actually run into this post about a blog featuring recipes on some easy to prepare stuff.

Here's the link.

Really, if these nerds - whose everyday lives revolve around their online characters - can and have the time to cook, why couldn't you?

Of Sunsets and Falling Leaves

There is so much sadness in this world and in this life.

There is a sadness that speaks of pain, of suffering, of losing a loved one. There is a sadness that masks anger, of being angry with oneself for not being good enough and not doing enough, of seeing a former loved one having moved on. And then there is a sadness that speaks of happiness, for when no other emotions are enough to convey what smiles and laughters could not.

Passing through a lonely dirt road on a quiet afternoon, there were two things that made me contemplate on the sadness of the world. Looking up, I saw a leaf slowly falling, its last dance before it becomes one with the earth that nourished it. Over the horizon, through the gaps in the trees, there were the last rays of the setting sun, bidding farewell to a world that too often ignores her existence.

Growing up as a loner, I often used to wonder why watching sunsets and falling leaves make me feel a sense of loneliness. I used to think that perhaps there was just something wrong with me. For while everyone else and the whole world go about their business, there I was all by myself beside the window, staring into the sunset, feeling all alone and forlorn.

But the feeling was not unwelcome. Despite the melancholy, the sadness, the quiet, and the silence, it was as if that by letting oneself drown in one's sorrow and letting the passage of time leave one behind, one eventually comes to an enlightenment. And where there used to be doubts and fears, they are soon replaced by inner peace, tranquility, and contentment.

Watching old people and seeing how despite their age they still manage to laugh, smile, and tell the silliest of jokes, I came to the realization that in this fast-paced life, where emotions and feelings are often discarded for the pursuit of money and immaterial material things, at the end of each and everyone's inevitable road, there is our end waiting for us, where all these mundane things and vanities would eventually have to go.

The sunsets of our lives will come when it is time. Our own leaves that have steadfastly stuck to the tree will one day fall off and come twirling down to perform their last dance. Despite our efforts - relationships, life, everything in this world that is of no permanence will one day end and there is simply nothing we can do about it.

Night comes. The leaf crumbles and fades, its remnants scattered in the earth and the wind. The world needs to slumber. Nature has to take its course.

And yet tomorrow, a new sunrise will come and a new leaf will grow in the tree. The wheels of life and fortune will continue to turn and what used to be asleep will once again awaken.



There is indeed beauty in sadness. Relationships may end, but a new one will come when you least expect it. Life may be finite, but as the soul leaves the body, it will soon become one with the All and the Universe to give life and meaning to new leaves and new sunsets.

Photos from desktopscenes.com and pushingfiftygently.blogspot.com

Forum Sigs

Reading gaming forums is fun - it's my new boredom killer. Aside from being able to read insults being flung by one nerdraging gamer to another (which is quite fun, even more fun than watching some comedy shows on TV), I also enjoy reading the forum posters' signatures.

Some are just plain weird and out of this world. Most are funny in some way. But there are also those that are quite insightful enough and are worth pondering over.

Some examples:

A true pessimist doesn't see a glass as half empty...he sees it as half full...of poison.

Why yes that is a banana in my pocket. Would you like half?

If you get bitten by a lichen, you have no one but yourself to blame.

Why do you want something for giving, Doesn't that defeat the whole damned purpose?

I dare you to try to penetrate me again.

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

Please stop crying. Your mom isn't here.

I PULL STRUDEL OUT OF MY ASS IT'S AWESOME GUYS YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill

I am not a seaweed, nor the sound of a one-legged horse.

(^^)(O_o)(^^) IT'S A GRIZZLY! RAWR!

"Yo dawg, I heard you like raiding, so we put a computer in your bathroom so you can wipe while you wipe."

"This coffee doesn't taste like a milkshake at all. It needs more milk and chocolate. And less gin."

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid.

You know what I hate? Things that are successful. Things that are popular are so lame.

The "I GIVE A DAMN" Meter
0'''''10'''''20'''''30'''''40'''''50'''''60'''''70'''''80'''''90'''''100
||||||_|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|___|
OOH, Look!! You barely register on it.

My previous sig was lame.

Something witty is supposed to go here.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

"There is no problem that cannot be resolved through the strategic application of murder."

- - - - -

You can always check out more of these sigs here. Enjoy!

C McP's Guide on How to Lose Your Faith in Humanity While in the Philippines

Humans are awesome and terrific creatures. They are capable of making things as useful as a paper clip to something as totally pointless as the atomic bomb. Truly, the wondersome things humans are capable of make you want to believe that perhaps they are indeed the most intelligent beings on earth.

But don't be fooled! Despite their intellectual advances, humans are still capable of doing things that would make you want to deitify sea cucumbers instead. If you're starting to feel that humans are starting to take control of your well-being, I have provided here a list of things you can do in order to avoid being controlled and manipulated by these cunning creatures.

Step 1: Live in a neighborhood where everyone sings videoke during parties.
Humans have a habit of throwing raucous events called 'parties' or 'par-tehs' (the latter pronunciation attributed to the highly advanced mind of Homer Simpson) for as many reason as you can think of. Someone turned eighteen? Party. Someone just got married? Party. Someone's giving birth soon? Party. Someone's enemy just died? Party. Yep, just give a good enough reason and humans would certainly celebrate it.

If you happen to chance by this beautiful set of islands called the Philippines, the best way to personally observe and see how humans devolve is to make sure your habitation is in the same neighborhood as people with an economic stratum from the upper lower class to the upper middle class. Huge bonus if a neighbor has a relative working in desert states such as Saudi Arabia or Qatar, or is a crewmember aboard a shipping vessel. This would mean that they are more likely to possess a videoke.

Observe how during said 'parties', they would tend to raise the volume of their videokes to cataclysmic decibels, making sure that everyone in the whole world would hear them sing (or pretend to sing). If you don't lose your faith in humanity in an hour, I would applaud you.

Step 2: Watch noontime shows to learn the best way to exploit misfortune.
In the Philippines, another way to lose your faith would be to turn on the television at noon and watch the noontime variety shows in either Channel 2 or 7. My friends, here is the best way to observe how misfortune can be put to good use in this country.

First, observe the poor people lining up outside the studios just to be able to be given a chance to participate in one of the show's games.

Second, watch the show's hosts themselves and how they pretend to sympathize with said poor people by dangling vomit-inducing amounts of cash in front of them.

Third, observe some members of the audience who try their best to make it obvious that they themselves or someone they're related to are working overseas, waving signs and placards in front of the camera in order to make it known to you, the viewer, that they or someone they know are working overseas. They would then 'donate' cash as additional prizes to the game in order to 'help' the poor. They just don't make themselves appear magnanimous, they also appear rich. Such brilliance!

And fourth, if you think that you can only watch dancing almost-naked ladies if you visit seedy bars at night, then think again.

Step 3: Observe politicians' and voters' behavior during election season.
This would take perfect timing in your part to be able for this step to be observable as you would need to chance it that you're in the Philippines during election season which only happens usually every three years.

First observe the politicians. You would see that during this season, they would tend to become very very generous, kind, nationalistic, and wealthy capable enough to come forth with a lot of infomercials informing you, the voter, as to how good a person they are and why you should vote for them. Prepare yourself for a barrage of catchy tunes, lame catchphrases, and a confetti of posters and political mud-slinging.

Now observe the voters. You would see that time and time again, these people love that they are being made fools of in the name of political ambition. Notice how they tend to vote for the worst possible politician in the election, and then trying their best to oust said politician during his/her term. Yes, they would even blame said politicians as to why their husbands drink too much or why their wives spend most of their days learning the latest gossip.

Step 4: Learn how to define racism in the Philippines.
Racism, colonial mentality, regionalism - this abstract idea goes by a lot of names in the Philippines. There are usually three instances where you can tell that a form of racism is going on.

Filipino versus people of a different religion. This form of racism is pretty prevalent among those who live in Christian areas. If they see someone who wears typical Islamic clothes, then he'll be automatically branded as a terrorist and a threat to peace. If you're a Muslim and you don't look - well - 'muslim' enough, be prepared to receive exclamations like, 'Hindi ka mukhang Muslim!' (You don't look Muslim!)

Filipino versus people from other regions. It is pretty amazing to see how being from a particular region means that you are a person of a certain quality. If you're from Ilocos, then you must be tight as a virgin with money. If you're from Cebu, then you must be someone's maid or nanny (and don't even get started on the accent). If you're from the Tagalog region, you must be some kind of narcissist who believe you're better than everyone else.

Filipino versus Filipino. If a Filipino and an American walks into a Filipino-operated establishment, guess who receives better treatment? In the Philippines, the whiter your skin is, the higher your social status.

Step 5: Immerse yourself in teen pop culture.
Team Jacob or Team Edward? Who's gonna be the next Starstruck survivor? Oh my God, those MTV stuff showing teens' 16th birthday parties and their supercool big houses are so cool!

Yep, if there is any final straw to losing your faith in humanity, always - and I mean ALWAYS - immerse yourself in teen culture. You may be in the Philippines but there's is no escaping it. Definitely mind-numbing and faith-crumbling, you would rather wish the big bang never happened and that these teenagers and their Twilight moms never made it out of the primordial soup.

- - - - -

Remember folks, humans, whether they live in the Philippines or elsewhere, are wily, cunning, and will do anything to get whatever they want. So always be careful and keep your eyes open. And make sure you keep your sanity intact at all times.

May the Universe have mercy on us all.

Eyes 4 Sale

Been a while since I posted some internet hilarity so here's one:



But when you come to think about it, here in the Philippines, this COULD BE possible.

Very possible.

Photo from pinoyfunnypictures.blogspot.com

Thoughts While Eating Oatmeal

'You are never meant to marry the person you love the most.'

'Only one out of five people will ever find true love.'

Sunday morning. I know I should just be relaxing my mind and letting go of thoughts. Yet I have reason to believe that someone must have put something in this bowl of oatmeal for me to be actually thinking about these things.

I can't remember from whom or where I heard these lines from, but it sure made my breakfast more interesting.

Why is love so hard to find? and if indeed you have found it, how come there's always something that stops you from completely experiencing it?

. . .

I swear, someone has tampered with my oatmeal.