10 Things I Hate About Reunions

This coming Saturday's gonna be my high school reunion. It's been 10 years since I graduated from that school. It is also the school's 80th year. And I suppose that somehow this makes this year's reunion extra-special. And it annoys me.

I hate reunions, of any kind, type, form. Yet I am compelled to go. Not because I can't resist or help not going, but more like I know that some people will be out for my blood if I didn't go. =(



1. You have to pretend, or at least convince yourself, that you are totally psyched to see everybody again. That's right, everybody. If by unlucky chance you get to see that person you really hated back way back then, you have to pretend that you have been the bestest of friends and that there has been absolutely nothing that might have gone sour between the two of you.

2. You might get to see people you don't wanna see again. Not exactly the person you hate in #1. It could be that varsity jock who thinks he's god's gift to women and the world. Or maybe that weird nerd with an equally weird odor. Or how about that annoying know-it-all, who annoyed the hell out of everybody by knowing the answers to all the questions. It might also be the preppy cheerleader who thinks life is one giant cute pompom. Yep, you might see them again. And there's no escaping them. And yes, of course, they will still be acting like their old high school self.

3. On the other hand, you might end up not seeing the people you DO want to see again. Could be your best friend or someone you used to hang out with. But somehow, there always seem to be someone who would not be present. Sucks for you if you're stuck with people from #2.

4. So the party starts, and everyone starts talking about their lives. Then you would start having odd pangs of regret, It could have been about not having done this or that which could have made your life better than it is now. You could even be just as successful as Bill Gates but somehow you feel that there is still something missing. And reunions always seem to put those feelings in the spotlight... "Why is his/her life so much better?"

5. If you wanna see the passage of time, go to a reunion. You might remember him or her as being this or that in high school. But when you guys see each other again, hell everyone would just look older. And I mean, OLDER.

6. And then, everyone you talk to seem to be mysteriously interested in every detail of your life. Well not exactly everything, more like just those dark, hidden details that you want to keep to yourself forever. Been practicing how to sugarcoat words? This is the best time to do it. Knock yourself out wowing others on how amazing your life has been, even if all you've done really was wait on tables.

7. Then of course in every reunion, there will always be the cheesy singing. And heaven forbid, games! Why on earth would people wanna sing old songs or play games like kids? But then again, if the people in #2 would be the ones doing this, then it wouldn't be so bad, I think.

8. Then there's the food. Food at reunion parties are either a) devilishly good that you can't help but coming back for seconds, thirds, fourths... fifths... or b) fiendishly disgusting, you might as well eat garbage.

9. At the end of the party, when you are going home, no matter how you might have felt during that day, there will always be that unexplained warm, fuzzy feeling inside. You might have lived your life thinking that everyone is competition and that the world is one ruthless place to live in, but you end up going home feeling that everything would be alright. Cheers for you if you start tearing up.

10. And finally #10, the thing I hate most about reunions. Someone will always exclaim that "you look fat". Even if you're thinner than Kate Moss, yes you're still fat.

Now I just want it be known that I'm saying all these just to get these things off my chest. Like I said, I'm still going and there's no reason really to make the party feel like it sucks. And who knows, I might end up enjoying myself.

And there's only one way to find out.

*puts on party hat and blows party tooter*