Eating... the Filipino Way

I have come to the conclusion that fine dining as well as pretty much any rule of etiquette that has to do with eating are nothing more than just western concepts. Before the Chinese came, we didn't need dishes, we used banana leaves. Before the Spaniards came, we had no use for spoons, forks, and knives, we used our bare hands.

It is along this line of thought that I came to the realization that for a Filipino to truly enjoy his meal, he needs to stop eating with 'class'. Who needs class when you're eating anyway? Will the food taste different? Does looking like a westernized weirdo make you more important? Our cuisine wasn't made with the idea of which fork or knife to use when eating that or this. The rest of the world can turn their noses up on us and think us as barbarians. Honestly, why should we care?

Here's a list of local food (mostly from the Tagalog region) which I deem to be best eaten Pinoy style, i.e. no spoons, knives, forks; with bare hands; and with a total disregard for western etiquette.

Pakwan (Watermelon)


Cutting it into tiny little cubes and then using forks to eat the little pieces one by one is just wrong. Even more wrong if you buy the seedless types. Best way to eat them: cut them into triangular pieces without taking the green layer off, chill them for about an hour, then start eating. As for the seeds, be a man and learn to pick them off in your mouth. Stand next to the window then spit them out. See, you won't just have a watermelon garden soon, you don't even have to buy them next time.

Uraro (Arrowroot Biscuits)


This is one of those biscuits that just won't stay intact. As soon as you take one in your hand, it starts to break apart and eating them can get really messy. So what to do then? Ground them into powder while still in their wrappings then pour them into your mouth. Make sure you have a glass of water nearby and try not to choke.

Espasol (Laguna Rice Cakes)


I love having these but I can't help but wonder why the bakers are way too overzealous in coating them in white powder. I mean, do you really need all that to keep them from sticking to their paper wrappings? Don't serve them by taking off the wrappings, putting them in a plate, then cutting them into bite sizes with your fork. Eat them like you're eating a choco bar. Tear off one end, pour the excess powder out, then start eating. Make sure you're not wearing black or else the police might mistake some of the powder that got into your shirt for an illegal substance.

Sorbetes (Dirty Ice Cream)


Put several scoops on top of a cone and start licking like a starved dog. Don't even contemplate putting them in a glass and using a spoon. Lick dammit, lick!

Turron (Banana Fritters)


Similar to the espasol, it is wrong to serve them in a plate along with a fork. Pick it up and start biting. Sure it gets annoying if some of the brittle wrappings fall off but that's part of the challenge. The less mess you make, the more awesome you are.

Barbecue, Fishballs, and other Street Noms


Okay, these delights on sticks are no-brainers. It's even better that the vendor has skewered them, making it easier for you. Ignore those haute dining restaurants where they serve these babies on plates. Go to the nearest street vendor, pay for one, grab your stick, eat all the meat up, then poke your friend who's standing next to you.

Mani (Roasted Peanuts)


Or Roasted Highland Legumes as the ever-corny Manny Pacquiao calls them. Again, a no-brainer here. Just grab a handful and toss them all in your mouth. Best served with cold beer.

Pritong Manok (Fried Chicken)


While not really a Filipino-exclusive food, we do know that the best fried chicken in the world are those cooked up by that fast food chain whose mascot is a creepy, smiling, dancing giant bee. Again, don't eat them in a platter with the usual utensils. Grab a leg, and start tearing and gnashing at the limb with your teeth. Don't forget the gravy.

Alimango (Mud Crab)


Okay, although crab is a usual fare in restaurants, we do know that no matter how much of a 'classy' diner you are, if the crab still has its shell, then you know it's really going to get dirty. Using utensils to break them open can be quite frustrating. The best thing to do: use your hands to pull the shell apart. As for the juicy meat inside the pincers, here's the best time to actually put one of your spoons to use. Put the crab pincer on the table, then whack it as hard as you can with your spoon to break it open. Don't mind the other diners staring at you.

Bulalo (Beef Marrow Stew)


Another restaurant fare, this time especially popular in and around Batangas. Eating them with class is a no-no and indeed laughable. To be able to extract the marrow, don't hesitate to ask the waiter to hand you over a wooden stick or any other long sharp thing to be able to poke and take the marrow out. As for the soup, don't bother sipping them quietly with a spoon. Sip it direct from the bowl and make as much slurping noise as you can with gusto.

Pancit Habhab (Lukban Noodles)


If you try to eat them from a plate with a fork, then you must be, without a doubt, losing your mind. The proper way to serve and eat this is by putting some on top of a small banana leaf cutting, then with just your hands put them next to your mouth and literally gobble them up. Literally. I suppose that's how it got its name with the sounds you make when eating it. Definitely not classy by western standards but it more than makes up for it by being oh so mouth-wateringly delicious.

Balut


Last but not least, the now world-famous (or maybe infamous) balut. Whack the egg's air-pocket end onto something hard, sip out the juice, then peel off the skin, eating the contents as you go. Don't forget to show the embryo to your non-Filipino friend. (P.S. that photo is the most glamorous balut picture in the internet I could find.)

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I always believed that to truly enjoy your food, you need to become one with the food. Being too formal too often with eating or dining only dampens the experience, making the food less tasty and enjoyable as it should be.

Now I am not saying that you should start eating like a caveman when eating Filipino cuisine. If you're uncomfortable eating with just your hands, then by all means grab a pair of chopsticks, a spoon, a knife, a fork, whatever. All I'm truly trying to say here is: Filipinos are a simple folk and enjoy preparing meals in a simple manner. Westernizing Pinoy eating may be an interesting idea, true. But to enjoy the local flavor, such experimentations are really unnecessary.

Photos from auxiliary.com, boyboypalaboy.wordpress.com, everythingsherbed.blogspot.com, erasmusa.blogspot.com, tumblr.com, bisayajudkaayo.blogspot.com, greenbulk.com, asianfoodfanatic.com, bisayabulletin.com, ekusinero.com, foodgy.blogspot.com, jacobimages.com