Love, Relationships, and Being Crazy

We don't need a genius to tell us that relationships are never fairy tales. Yet somehow, some people still delude themselves into thinking that they are and could be so. A man and a woman in love does not always equal a relationship, and there are also way too many factors and dynamics to consider. Even if you put every effort to make a relationship work, there will never ever be perfect. Relationships, I came to accept, are meant to be imperfect.

So while the whole world scrambles to provide aid to the earthquake-devasted nation of Haiti, here we are in the Philippines being bombarded by the local media with some unnecessary news regarding an entertainment couple's rocky relationship. It is disappointing that such news are being given more air time over more important matters, but what can we do? We are a nation obsessed with stars and scandals.

So I took some time to sit down and watch the live interview. Had a few laughs with some of the details. I wouldn't bother talking about it as I'm sure that by tomorrow all the nasty tidbits will be out in the newspapers anyway. What I don't get though is why the wife has to be the one on the hot seat. I may be mostly indifferent towards her but I have to defend her on this one because she didn't do anything. Why on earth is she the one doing all the explaining? Where are the people who are supposed to be the one doing so - the husband, the alleged other woman?

A friend, who incidentally lives in the same neighborhood as this couple, told me a couple of very interesting ideas she has regarding what people in crumbling relationships like this one should do. No, they do not include switching religions to facilitate multiple marriages. And I'm pretty sure the Catholic Church wouldn't like them either. Not very popular and moral ideas, but they do make sense to me nevertheless.

Leave. If you can't or don't know how to commit, why enter into a relationship? Or if you're already in one, why not just leave? There's no point staying in a relationship if you are not willing to be loyal and devote some of yourself to the other person. In fact, just do whatever the hell you want, have as many men/women you want, but for the love of all that is holy, don't commit yourself into one if you can't. If say there's the issue of kids, then by all means still leave. It's not as if you can't support your child by not being in the relationship. Spare each and everyone the psychological and mental trauma of being in a failed partnership if you can't keep your raging libido to yourself and your partner.

Let the other person 'cheat'. This didn't actually made sense to me at first but I eventually understood what my friend was trying to say. Some couples may, for one reason or another, want to keep up appearances of still being in a happy relationship. All too true. And if I understood what my friend meant, all she was saying is that things should be fair in a relationship, whether it's real or not. If one party is cheating, then that person should also allow his/her partner to have the freedom to do the same thing. The idea may be unconvetional but hey, if you're happy with your other man/woman, why can't I too?

*Sigh*

Despite the pain, the craziness, and the tears, people will still find themselves being drawn into the endless pursuit for that one relationship. Perhaps, it's what makes the idea of relationships beautiful - that even though you know it's never gonna be perfect, you still want to experience it? But there's just one thing I learned from all the craziness in my life and from others - if something is not meant to be, just stop, give up, and move on.

Photo from hey-toxic.blogspot.com